How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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