Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
It's rum buckets o'clock
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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