he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
