I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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