I think my fart just growled at me.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
