I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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