But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
