Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
