I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Even my vagina gasped.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
