You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize