GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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