his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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