This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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