I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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