so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i drank out of a bidet.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
