Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
