meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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