you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
