dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
