More tranny stories later!
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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