You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
