she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
