Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
