Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
