he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
