In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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