I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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