I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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