you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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