my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
The power of my boobs compel you
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
