im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
