its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
