I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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