I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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