why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
