In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
