he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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