I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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