check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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