wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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