i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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