whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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