It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
