I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize