i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already