I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
