We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Randomize
