problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
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I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
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My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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