so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i will never coherently bang her
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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