Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
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