dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
