Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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