Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
