I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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