piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
