I can text with my tongue
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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