Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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