What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
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You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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