There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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